So, I write.
And my writing WINS.
I’ve been mulling over the idea of initiating a Kickstarter campaign to get this comedy off the page and onto the screen. I’m thinking NOW is the best time to do it.
Below is the winning treatment for my original comedy, “IOU 1 Soul” in its entirety. It is, by the way, under copyright and registered with the WGA West.
I.O.U. 1 SOUL
BY
CASSANDRA HENNESSEY
It’s Wednesday morning in Los Angeles, and DANTE TYLER is not having a good day.
First, he’s embroiled in an argument with his girlfriend, EVE REISEN. It’s an argument that a guy is destined to lose—about abstract feminine concepts like semi anniversaries of a first bouquet of roses bestowed, or where they were when they first held hands in public. She berates him for remembering ‘guy stuff’—sports stats and makes and models of cars—while peppering him with anything she can get her hands on. The argument—and the fact that she keeps hogging the bathroom—makes him inevitably run late for work. He’s getting dressed from his front door to his car.
Then, he gets into a car accident while going to work. His sensible sedan, which he’s named ‘Belinda’, is totaled as a result of the crash.
While stuck at the scene of the accident, Dante calls his co-worker and best friend at Vanguard Talent Agency, BRAD ROSS, to see if he can give him a lift into work. Brad is raiding donut boxes in the employee lounge at the time he claims to be up to his eyeballs in work.
And when Dante finally does get to work– an hour late– he’s getting a funky vibe. His Billing co-workers JEN and BILL stop by his cubicle to commiserate. Dante thinks they’re expressing their sympathy about his car accident; that Brad had spread the news of why he was late. It’s not until Brad visits that Dante is made aware of what the ‘vibe’ was; the company is planning on outsourcing his job to India.
PUNDIT (a.k.a. ‘PETE’), the workaholic corporate attorney, even stops by to extend his hand and business card, inviting Dante to use him as a reference when he goes job-hunting.
So, before ten a.m. on what was supposed to be a lovely midsummer Wednesday morning, Dante Tyler has lost his girlfriend, his car, and his job’s days are definitely numbered.
Brad determines that Dante needs to go out after work to vent a little steam…
…So he takes his buddy to a new club. The Inferno. There’s that ‘infernal’ look to the outside of the building; the lighting and neon making it appear ominous.
There’s a strange atmosphere inside. The patrons revel madly. Dante is a fish out of water. Brad, on the other hand, is quite comfortable amidst the loud music and hedonistic activity. He buys him a drink and leads him to the VIP section on the upper level of the club; insisting on introducing Dante to the owner of the club, saying he’s a ‘freaking wicked dude.’
Seated at an oversized booth is a tall, dark and devilishly handsome man. This is STAN. He is impeccably dressed in designer duds. Red and black are the hues he’s wearing—the prevalent colors of the club’s décor. He’s slick, stylish and surrounded by women who could only be described as ‘smoking hot’. He’s entertaining this harem of HOT CHICKS with card tricks.
With a rich British accent, he addresses Brad by calling him ‘Dross’ instead of ‘Ross’. He invites them to his booth and does a magic trick that baffles Dante. He introduces himself as ‘Stan’. He pulls out a red-on-black business card. Printed across it is ‘S.A. TAN, P.O.D’.
In the midst of loosening up, Dante tells Stan his plights of the day; losing his girlfriend, getting his car smashed up and the disclosure of his impending layoff.
Stan jests that Dante probably wishes he could get a Mulligan for this woeful Wednesday. Dante agrees, saying he’d definitely like the chance for a ‘Do-Over’.
Two dark ales down. Then three. And then a fourth.
It’s getting late and the dark ale has Dante feeling no pain. Stan suggests Brad take his friend home and as Dante departs, buzzing, the club owner assures him that “Tomorrow is another day…”
Dante gets back to his apartment, has trouble getting the key in the door and starts stripping from the moment he gets in; from his living room to his bedroom. He manages to sing the chorus from “Annie” before he crashes across his bed, passed out.
The next morning, Dante awakes lying in bed next to Eve. He jumps with a start, startling her as well. She wasn’t there when he got home the night before.
Eve’s acting like the fight the morning before never happened; showering him with affection and flowery pet names. Dante’s incredulous.
She even volunteers to make him breakfast before he goes to work.
Dante’s floored.
Eve never cooks.
She makes him a full breakfast; eggs, bacon, toast, coffee. She continues to smother him with kisses, caresses, embraces and syrupy-sweet compliments. He can’t even eat without her wiping his mouth with a napkin and blowing kisses at him from across the kitchen table.
Spooked by Eve’s strange behavior, he declares he must depart early—needing to procure a ride in to work—and Eve is right there, with his filled travel mug, briefcase and keys. She smothers him with even more kisses until he can manage to free himself and flee.
Upon exiting his apartment building, he is shocked to see his sensible sedan curb-side, looking brand spanking new! Not a scratch on the car! Well, Old Scratch really; Stan is sitting on the hood with a grin of greeting. Dante inquires of the mechanical miracle and Stan says he was so touched by Dante’s plight he was compelled to have the car repaired and that even the new car smell was restored. Stan’s limo awaits behind Dante’s sensible sedan, the Hot Chicks giggling and waving champagne out of the moon roof. It’s apparent their party is still going on from the night before. Stan bids Dante to give ‘em hell at work before departing, leaving him in a wake of confusion.
Dante gets to work. He takes in several whiffs of the new car smell before leaving Belinda in the parking garage. Nothing like the new car smell to lift one’s spirits.
This time he gets a different vibe from Bill and Jen as he settles in behind his desk. Jen bids him a good morning and Bill compliments him on his tie. He thanks them politely as he’s logging into his PC. In his inbox, there are several messages from Mailer Daemon with the subject line “RE: Payment Requested”. So he opens one. The e-mail informs him of a payment in arrears and that he’s to call a number with a 666 area code immediately…
…So, he picks up the office phone, calls the number and on the line is an automated voice system that announces that he’s just reached Hell and to listen closely to the prompts because the menu has changed. After the whole spiel about Hell’s consultants being busy attending to other calls, the initially amiable female voice snarls the waiting time for the next available consultant is one thousand thirty five years and seven minutes…
Dante hangs up, thinking it’s a bad joke.
He goes in search of Brad, because these kinds of involved pranks are something just like he’d perpetrate.
He finds Brad raiding the donuts and chatting up a cute co-worker in the employee lounge.
Brad congratulates him; telling him how at an early morning board meeting, Dante’s boss– the usually mild-mannered AL SHUSTER– took off his shoe and banged it upon the table, he was so adamantly opposed to the outsourcing proposal. The proposal was subsequently defeated. Dante still has his job.
Dante’s amazed. Just twenty four hours before, he didn’t have his girlfriend, his car or his job. Now everything’s back to normal. He remembers the e-mail and chides Brad about it. Brad denies sending him anything.
On his way back to his cubicle, Dante tells Brad about Eve’s return after what was the mother of all breakups the day before and how he feels compelled to go back to the Inferno that night after work to repay Stan for the car’s repairs.
Just then, MARLA the receptionist rushes into the bullpens screaming Brad’s name. She says there’s something wrong with his boss, MISTER PETERSON…
…In the reception area, a group of co-workers have gathered around an unconscious MISTER PETERSON as Marla rushes in with the workplace defibrillator; Dante and Brad sprinting behind. Brad is not much help in medical emergencies, claiming he hadn’t taken the course. Dante had taken the course (and aced it); he follows the emergency apparatus device’s instructions to the letter, trying to save Mister Peterson. Marla is in hysterics, watching as the device administers shocks to Peterson’s heart to no avail. EMS workers soon show up and Dante consoles Marla, who through her sobs, recounts the conversation she was having with Peterson prior to his collapse; that he was looking forward to the family vacation to Maui the following month.
Peterson’s superior—MISTER GRAHAM—gestures to Brad and they leave the reception area. In Graham’s office, behind closed doors, Brad is promoted to Peterson’s position. He cannot contain his celebratory outburst; then has to recover his composure quickly. He practically shakes Graham’s hand off, jostling what little hair atop his new boss’ head from its precarious comb-over perch.
Dante and Brad do lunch; via fast-food drive thru. Brad is trying his best to sniff all the new car smell from Dante’s sensible sedan. Between sniffs, he’s telling Dante of his promotion; that since he was familiar with Peterson’s workload and clientele, he was the perfect candidate for his rapid replacement. It’s Brad’s elation over economic gain without a second thought toward Peterson’s plight that makes Dante a little squeamish; he calls Brad’s delight in this morbid situation ‘ghoulish’. Brad denies being a ghoul or having ghoulish tendencies, pronounces Dante a ‘buzz kill’ and declares he can’t wait to celebrate.
When Dante returns from lunch, he finds even more of those return notifications from Mailer Daemon in his inbox. Hundreds of them. He’s in the midst of deleting them when Eve calls him on his cell to ask him what he wants her to make for dinner…
Again, Eve does not cook.
Awaiting fallout, Dante tells her that he’s not going to be home right after work, that there’s something he has to do. Eve’s response is very understanding, very agreeable. Not what he’d anticipated. By the time he hangs up the phone, there’s even more of the Mailer Daemon notices in his inbox. He knows he’s got a problem.
Pundit’s watching over Dante’s shoulder as the inbox fills up with this mysterious e-mail. He asks what the guys from IT have said about this predicament. Dante tells him that they said it wasn’t a virus. Pundit gives Dante the third degree about PC protocol; rebooting, deleting temp files, cookies, etc. and asks who was the recipient of the original e-mail. Dante attests that he never sent this message out; that it just came in. As Pundit summarizes that the program is ‘corrupted’ the monitor starts to smoke. Dante scrambles under his desk to unplug the PC before a fire starts.
After some guile and persuasion, Pundit lets Dante use his PC to finish his work as he busies himself pulling files and making copies.
Thursday night, Dante and Brad are back at the Inferno. It looks like the same crowd is standing outside, waiting to get in.
They find Stan at his booth with the Hot Chicks. He invites them to sit and asks if they’re at his club to commiserate. Brad informs Stan that they’re there to celebrate.
Stan pops the cork on a magnum of Cristal champagne as Brad is bubbling over his promotion and all the perks. Stan, with a wink, comments that Brad’s doing quite well for himself. He turns to Dante and asks how his day went.
Dante tells him that all the problems he’d had the day before are resolved; his girlfriend, his job, and that he’s very pleased with the repairs to his car. He says that he can’t fathom exactly how Stan got the car repaired so quickly.
Stan gives him the ‘long story short’ version; that he knew the guy at the tow company, had the vehicle towed to his mechanic at a twenty-four hour auto shop, and that the mechanic—who he deems ‘hellacious’ under the hood—repaired the vehicle.
Dante is intent on paying Stan whatever the car repairs cost. He has three hundred dollars with him—the largest amount allowed to be drawn from an ATM. Stan insists that Dante’s money is no good, but Dante is persistent, citing the costs for towing, parts and labor must have been expensive. Naturally, he feels indebted. Stan flatly refuses the three hundred dollars.
Sipping his champagne, Stan comments that Dante’s fervor to repay him is a breath of fresh air. Dante, considering himself a man of his word, tells Stan that he knows he owes him “big time” and to name whatever he wants…
Stan coyly asks for Dante’s soul.
And Dante—buzzing from the champagne and thinking Stan’s cracking a joke—says “Yeah, sure”, while he’s laughing it up.
He even goes to write an I.O.U. on a cocktail napkin, but his pen’s out of ink.
Stan lets him use his; it’s a snazzy, expensive-looking pen.
Dante writes out the I.O.U. for one soul.
He admits he’s loving the new car smell and thinking that the ‘soul request’ is some form of British business formality, asks Stan about the mechanic.
And as Stan replies “Oh, just an old acquaintance. I have people,” he coolly slips the cocktail napkin into the deep recesses of his jacket’s pocket…
…Which is like a bottomless pit reaching into the very bowels of Hell.
The cocktail napkin falls down, down, down until it lands in the ‘In’ tray atop a desk in the midst of Hell. A bell—Hell’s bell—sounds with a ‘Ding!’ and a huge billboard boasting billions of Souls Acquired chocks up the acquisition one more soul—Dante Tyler’s…
CHARACTER SUMMARY
DANTE TYLER considers himself the Average Joe. He’s easy going by nature. Proves himself resourceful in “normal” crises. He’s what women would refer to as a “cutie” in conversation; bright eyed, funny, thoughtful. He’s a native of California—born in Stockton. He loves his sports—baseball in particular. He’s been a fan of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim since he was a kid. His parents nurtured his love of sports right through college. He’s thirty, athletic—he’s the star player on his company’s softball team—and loves his car; a sensible sedan he’s bestowed the name “Belinda”. He’s college educated with a B.A. (majored in Communications) and is currently employed as a bookkeeper for Vanguard Talent Agency in L.A. More comfortable in his jeans and Starter sports gear than in a suit. Has never had even a parking ticket; never been in trouble with the Law. He’s honest to a fault. Dante possesses a boyish charm and a code of moral conduct that reflects his genuine good nature. It’s that sense of honor that compels him to do what he feels is the right thing. “Fair Play” is what he’s about. That’s what makes him such a challenging target for–
STAN (a.k.a. S.A. TAN): Evil Incarnate—though he feels he’s been unfairly persecuted through centuries of “Bad Press”. Tall, dark and ‘devilishly’ handsome. British accent. Stan appears to be around forty though he is eons old and has a flair for fashion (dresses like a celebrity on the red carpet). Has a penchant for wearing red and black. He considers himself a businessman, or as he calls it, an “Unearthly Entrepreneur and Acquirer of Immortal Souls”. Crafty, cunning, quick-witted and cut-throat. Enormous ego—since he is the Potentate of Darkness. Powerful, but not omnipotent, and that upsets him. He uses his deceptive charms on Mortals in many ways—telling jokes, performing magic, disguising himself—anything to distract someone from what his true intentions are. This sly Devil is currently living the single life—carousing with his selection of sexy succubae nightly at his Los Angeles night club “The Inferno”. (Just one of his myriad business ventures). He’s been recently divorced—in the last century or so—from his wife, the Mistress of Darkness, LILITH. By decree of the High Celestial Court, he was ordered to pay her ten thousand souls a month for alimony; payment due the thirteenth of every month. Recently—thanks to the charitable acts championed by several celebrities– he’s been coming up short. In the corporeal world, he has confidence, is cocksure, but when face-to-face with his ex-wife, he’s absolutely miserable because he can’t pull that “Potentate of Darkness” thing on her; she knows him way too well, having been married to him. His horns occasionally pop up on his brow when he becomes agitated, angry or aroused. Usually, the spur to his ire is none other than–
LILITH: The Mistress of Darkness. She is also eons old, yet appears only to be in her mid-thirties. She is a strict adherent to earthly couture; this season, she’s wearing Dolce and Gabbana. Last season it was Prada. She relishes being the perpetual thorn in Stan’s side; considering herself superior to everyone (including Stan). Over the eons, she has donned many looks, however this century she has chosen to be blonde and to sport a “corporate professional” type of look that compliments her statuesque build and figure. The eons she’s existed have made her cold-hearted and bitter, however there is a volcano of passion just beneath the surface. She is adept at Evil herself; though Stan often refuses her advice, which is often offered with a goodly dose of sarcasm. She may have divorced Stan because of “irreconcilable differences”, but deep down she still wants Stan to succeed (so she can get what she feels is owed to her). She becomes interested in the acquisition of Dante’s soul; saying this “rare” soul would be worth ten thousand, if Stan can indeed retain its possession. Being a “female”, Lilith suggests the way to Dante’s soul could be through his “heart”–
EVE REISEN: She’s twenty-six and a stunningly gorgeous blonde. She’s DANTE’S girlfriend of just over a year; live-in lover of about six months. She’s the late-in-life daughter to well-off Baby Boomers. She’s used to getting what she wants. Shortly after college, she moved to California from Connecticut to pursue her dream of being an artist; the romanticism of actually becoming “a starving artist” is what motivated her exodus to the West Coast. She didn’t like San Francisco, so she moved to Los Angeles. However, she doesn’t ever “starve” as a “starving artist”; via one frantic phone call across the country, she has access to her parents’ money. Her artwork does have potential; she’s sold some paintings. For the year she’s been dating Dante, she has never cooked anything more complicated than a microwave dinner. She is very much about her art and obtaining fame and status. She doesn’t understand why Dante settled to be a bookkeeper instead of pursuing his dream of doing his own sports show. She’s a dreamer, and can’t handle something that’s too deep or dire. So, when Dante tries to tell her of the unfathomable situation he’s in with Stan—that he’s sold his soul to the Devil– she cannot relate. Doesn’t want to deal with the portrait of reality he’s painting. Without realizing it, she becomes a pawn in Stan’s game of Cat and Mouse with Dante; being a myopic mortal, she can be easily manipulated. She has no idea that she will soon be “out of the picture”, making room for a new love interest and possible soul mate—
ANGEL MURPHY: She admits to being 32. Whatever her age, she looks great. There’s a wispy, breezy way about her, apparent by her attire and attitude. She is a free spirit. She’s just recently opened her “New Age” shop, “Ethereal Offerings”; catering to those seeking Spiritual Exploration. She’s recently moved to L.A. from Seattle to re-establish herself; breaking the tenacious bonds of her family and former fiancé. She is Fourth generation Irish American with Cherokee ancestry; a beautiful brunette. Her locks always flow; never tethered; not unlike her words—she will always say what’s on her mind. She is fun-loving, informal and friendly, but can be feisty, attributing that to her dad and “The Ol’ Irish Temper”. She has extensive knowledge in the alleged powers of crystals, utilizes incense and essential oils to “purify her surroundings”, yet still has that well-instilled foundation of Catholic faith she was brought up with. She keeps her waif’s figure by being a vegetarian. Does not smoke. Prefers white wine to red on the rare occasions she imbibes. Her favorite beverage is chai. When it comes to the “powers” possessed by certain crystals, precious and semi-precious gemstones, Angel knows her stuff. She can discern positive energy from negative, which makes her an obstacle to Stan as her and Dante’s relationship blossoms. Stan visits her at her shop, in an attempt to scare her off. At first she’s intimidated, but then is determined to help Dante save his soul. She introduces him to—
AUDREY ROSE: A bit odd, a bit out-there, however she is an expert of the Paranormal. Award winning author and lecturer on matters of the supernatural (ghosts, celestial spirits, Out Of Body Experiences, ESP and the like), Audrey is naturally a bookworm herself; possessing an extensive collection of old tomes from which she draws her research. She lives alone; has never been married. Has no children. Not even a pet. She’s a bit frumpy, which is a shame, because she could really be quite attractive if she didn’t constantly pull her hair back in a ponytail and didn’t don the “intellectual” black-rimmed glasses when she’s reading. She is a comics geek; has a collection of comic books older than she is (she is thirty-four); and claims to love the prevailing theme of Good versus Evil in graphic novels. She is a frequent customer of Angel’s, buying essential oils and such for her in-the-field investigations of hauntings. Strictly does not participate in “exorcisms”; claiming they fall under the jurisdiction of the Church; however she does know a thing or two about wielding Holy Water and salt to ward off evil spirits. She considers the phenomena that she studies in a purely clinical mien; striving to prove their existence for wider social acceptance. She has published three books so far since she graduated Stanford a decade before, with a major in psychology (Audrey minored in Journalism). She claims to have the ability to see “auras” as well as detect the presence of spirits. Poltergeists do not rattle her, however the advent of Evil Incarnate does give her pause as Dante and Eve relate their stories. She delves into research to see if she can be of assistance to rid Dante of “negative influences” such as—
BRAD ROSS: He knows he has “it”. His motto: “It’s All About Me.” He knows he’s got the looks of a male model and the fast-talking abilities of a politician to get him anywhere he wants to be in life… Just turned thirty, but still has that teenaged misconception of “invincibility”. Brad’s earlier life was full of broken promises and deeds left undone; parents were divorced, he quit college, and never committed to a relationship. Brad’s seen his life improve greatly over the last two years since he first acquainted Stan. Before he met the Devil, Brad was in sales for a travel company, doing cold calls offering perfect strangers vacation packages to Aruba and Jamaica… He hated that job. Knew he had more potential than that. So, he fast-talked his way through his interview for Vanguard Talent Agency and Stan made sure he was hired. He’s a narcissist; fancies himself the ladies’ man, and is constantly immersing himself in the latest and greatest when it comes to techno-toys; sports cars, attire and trends. He tends to wear a bit too much cologne. Brad’s ultimate goal is to become a top sports talent agent. He’s the assistant to one of Vanguard’s most successful agents. He calls it being the “Face Man”; with his good looks and charisma he has managed to schmooze enough to build a rapport with several clients. He’s of the mindset that he should grab for all the gusto now–ever “In the Moment”. He has never pondered the future, especially what will happen when Stan eventually takes his soul and sends him to Hell. So, being shallow and short-sighted, naturally he signed on the dotted line… There was a stipulation in his contract with Stan; that if he could provide Stan other souls to “purchase”, he would reap bountiful rewards. He feels this is his way to curry favor with the Potentate of Darkness. So, that’s just what he’s done; introduced Stan to potential acquisitions. And that’s why he brought Dante to the Inferno on Wednesday, June the 24th. It wasn’t to comfort his friend. It was to sweeten his deal with the Devil. At the expense of his friend.
Yeah, some friend. Not a true friend like–
PUNDIT “PETE” MAHAPARUSH: The East Indian workaholic who will surely die on the job before the age of forty (he’s thirty-two now). Born and raised in several parts of the United States (New York City, Cambridge, Massachusetts—where he attended Harvard Law, and then L.A.), he is the product of intellectually-tyrannical parents. (His father’s an attorney; his mother is a professor). Everything was education and now everything is occupation. He is a corporate lawyer; he graduated valedictorian of his class. Needless to say, Pundit has absolutely no social life. He is single. Lives alone and frugally—like a monk. He has rarely been on a date—unless it was “approved” by his father (and that was back when he was in high-school). Most dates were actually cramming sessions at the library. He lives only to apply himself to his work; to accomplish whatever task is before him. He does not fraternize with his co-workers; has no time for office parties and refuses invites to extracurricular activities. He does like soccer; he played it in college, so he follows World Cup soccer closely. He does not like American football. He has no interest in romantic relationships; pays the opposite sex absolutely no mind. He has an almost automaton-like tone to his voice; very flat. Rarely does he get excited about anything. He does express his peevishness with sarcasm when he feels he’s been interrupted from completing his work. He does not like Brad in the least; feels he’s a slacker. He does like Dante, because he’s a hard worker and he was the first to befriend him when Pundit joined Vanguard a year ago (Dante calls him by his real name; not the Americanized nickname “Pete” which Brad bestowed him). He appreciates the genuine good nature of Dante; the “good” that is also prevalent in—
FRANK: Dante’s streetwise Guardian Angel. He’s introduces himself as “Frank” because his celestial name is too difficult for the Mortal Tongue. Frank’s not the typical “halo and white wings” angel. He likes his leather jackets. Often has a toothpick in his mouth. A bit rough around the edges; doesn’t look like the type you’d want to scrap with. Physically, he looks to be in his mid to late forties, though obviously he’s been around much longer than that. Not towering; he’s of average height and has a pretty good build. Frank is a celestial spirit who’s seen it all; so he’s got that world-weary look. He’s been there throughout Dante’s life, watching over him and in his opinion, Dante’s “a good kid”. Never has had to work too hard—because Dante’s managed to keep himself out of trouble—but recently, he’s been busy, thwarting Stan’s attacks. He even tried to intervene that fateful night at the Inferno by making Dante’s pen run out of ink before he could write the I.O.U. (but couldn’t stop Stan’s pen because it was an Instrument of Evil). He’s usually been able to operate “behind the scenes”, but with Stan’s shenanigans, he’s had to be more “out in the open”. So, he’s appeared to Dante in various disguises; as a homeless man, a police officer, and as a Catholic Priest named FATHER FLETCHER. Finally—when things get heated—he reveals himself, leather jacket, five o’clock shadow, toothpick and all. He refers to himself as Dante’s “Body and Soul Guard”. His mission: to keep Dante safe from the hellish Hit Man—
BANE: Astral Assassin. This swarthy-robed wraith is one of Death’s adherents and on Stan’s payroll. He exists only to torment Mortals. Stan commissions him to torment Dante; to make him to suffer so much anguish that he would gladly surrender his soul. Being a spirit, Bane operates incognito. Without detection, he can reap havoc on mechanical devices such as car brakes or even blow out the pilot on a gas stove. At will, he can manipulate Nature; like rousing a nest of nasty hornets or provoking dogs to attack. Bane knows that Frank is on the case, protecting Dante. Under celestial surveillance, he’s forced to make his attacks all the more insidious.
RECURRING MINOR CHARACTERS
MARLA: The receptionist at the Vanguard Talent Agency. Twenty-two. A fresh-faced redhead with a crush on Dante. She makes it a point to greet him every morning as he passes the Front Desk. She is a maelstrom of emotion; easily freaked out, grossed out or alarmed. She is Old Navy chic; straight out of college into her first entry-level position.
BILL: Not fresh-faced at all. Mid-forties, paunchy, divorced twice, and would be considered a hardened criminal to Fashion Police everywhere. Bill works in Billing with Dante. Well, when he’s not eating, he’s working. Usually seen lingering in the Employee Lounge. He’s quite proud of the bargain bin ties he sports. They look like they came from bargain bins. In the 1970’s.
JEN: Another of Dante’s co-workers in the Billing Department. Ultra-feminine, but not in a “sultry” way; she wears dresses that look like they have “doilies” attached at the neck. She is the overly-sensitive, nurturer type. Can’t stomach any sort of adversity or dissension; wants everyone to peacefully coexist. Is a walking pharmacy for the office; her cubicle is always well stocked with over-the-counter pain relievers, allergy/cold meds and antacids.
AL SHUSTER: Dante’s boss. Fifty. A well-worn fifty. Short, squirrelly and soft-spoken. He would be considered the “nice boss” in administrative circles (which makes his rare outbursts all the more surprising to those who witness them). He’s started balding and it doesn’t seem to concern him. Doesn’t micromanage. He regards Dante highly; admiring his work ethic, forthright personality and athleticism at the company softball games.
SITUATIONS AND STRUCTURE
At first, DANTE doesn’t believe—can’t believe!—that STAN is the Devil. He thinks that BRAD has pulled an elaborate—perhaps even televised—joke on him. He’s waiting for someone to come up with a release form and to point the cameras out to him. It is, after all, Los Angeles…
…But it’s when he sees the horns pop up on Stan’s head that he realizes that the situation is real and not “make believe”. (The Potentate of Darkness was lost in a stream of consciousness waxing philosophical about “death, destruction and Man’s inhumanity to Man” when his horns appear, springing up on his brow with that “POP!” sound that accompanies a window for a Spam advertisement).
Dante freaks out. Stan takes the revealing of his true identity in his stride.
Stan beleaguers Dante in ways only he can; appearing to him as different people (including a pimply-faced employee at a fast food joint); showing up on his television screen (as news anchors, rappers in music videos, even hosting kiddie shows on PBS!), haunting his dreams, and manipulating the minds of those around him (Dante finds himself in a Three-Way argument with Stan whispering the verbal slings and arrows into EVE’S ear). Dante quickly learns he’s alone in his battle against evil; that he has to be discreet in his interactions with other mortals, lest bring them into the fray. The concept is alien to him, because he’s always been a team player; has always “went to bat” for others, going through life like it had the same rules as America’s Favorite Pastime…
To those around him (his girlfriend, his co-workers) he appears to have become paranoid to the verge of psychosis (sleeps with the lights on; has lost his appetite and personal interests and can’t figure out how to protect himself against an entity that can simply walk through walls. No need in blocking a door with a heavy piece of furniture, then…) His boss, AL SHUSTER, even suggests that Dante take some time off, obviously stressed…
Then there’s the disturbing discovery that BRAD is an agent of evil. His best friend; the guy who goes to the Los Angeles Angels games with him! He’s hurt and shocked that Brad would “sell him out”. That who he thought was a friend is actually a vile enemy.
Brad’s worst enemy is his own avarice. As the “infernal” power he so craved consumes him, it makes him more and more ugly. He’s furious because Stan didn’t tell him that becoming physically repellent would be a side-effect and because he “can’t score the babes” anymore. Stan smugly says that it must have slipped his mind; the specific side-effects. So ugly is as ugly does. Brad turns all that rage on Dante, claiming it’s his fault that he’s lost his looks (and has been struck impotent). And even with the infernal power bestowed to him by Stan, he still cannot beguile, persuade or coerce Dante to surrender his soul and join Evil. (Dante defends himself anyway he can, even with a baseball bat). His failure to “seal the deal” leads to Stan “firing” him in a setting in not much unlike the Boardroom on “The Apprentice”. With a burst of blue flame, Brad is sent to Hell…
Dante tries everything in his “mortal” appendix of “Fair Play” to try and settle the dispute; trying to reason and negotiate. He can’t even be “safe at home”; Stan appears to him in his own living room. He offers Stan his car—since that was the basis for the I.O.U.—which Stan flatly refuses. He’s all the more offended that the car’s not even an import.
Dante doesn’t think that the “Big Guy Upstairs” really has an interest in what’s happening to him partially because he buys into Stan’s lie about “the affairs of Man not being of particular interest at this point in History. He’s just ‘letting it ride’ for now.” And when he does bring up the subject of “Good versus Evil” to others (PUNDIT, JEN, BILL, Eve) the response is so vague and convoluted, that he feels even more confusion. Nobody seems to have any answers…
(Dante convolutes the issue himself with a stunning philosophical argument about “Free Will”; and is it indeed “free” if you’re bound to serve either the side of Good or Evil…? The concept even confounds Stan momentarily. The Devil declares that he “could stop being evil anytime he wants”—not willing to admit that he’s “addicted” to evil and can’t control himself… The digression – and attempted impromptu “intervention”—makes Stan steam with frustration…)
It is the advent of his Guardian Angel FRANK that bolsters Dante’s inner strength enough for him to stop running, stand tall and fight for his soul. (He literally does have to run from Stan one afternoon. He was just going out to pick up some food when the car chase begins. Dante ends up taking off on foot and ducking into a church to hide). Disguised as a Catholic priest, “Father Fletcher”, Frank gives Dante valuable advice on how to deal with the Devil—who is waiting outside of the diocese in his Mercedes for Dante to leave the sanctuary of the church… He provides him safe passage, thus foiling Stan. Dante does have someone on his “team” after all… Frank’s “street” attitude and eons of experience fighting evil gives Dante confidence that he’s got a “power hitter” on his side.
Stan is obsessed with this acquisition. It’s not the same old story—a soul sold for some selfish gain—this mortal was just happy to have his car back! Every time Dante manages to give Stan the slip—usually quite by accident—it makes him look bad in the Ethereal Realm. He’s even being ridiculed by his ex-wife LILITH. He’s determined to prove that he hasn’t lost his touch. Then there’s the whole legality of the I.O.U. itself that’s brought into question; is there a loophole because there’s no signature? All the lawyers’ souls that he’s acquired over time are working feverishly on that technicality. He’s still trying to run his business in the meantime, and Hell is, well, going to Hell in his absence. Soul profits are down. His D-Men are grumbling about working overtime and scrambling to utilize human and “inhuman” resources… And thanks to Global Warming, even Hell is getting hotter (this is according to his ecological study imps). His stress levels are off the charts as the “Hot Lines” in his office ring off the hook. He’s getting headaches; and when he has a headache, his horns puff smoke rings. His harem of sultry succubae dote over him as his mood darkens, but not even they can comfort him. Disgusted with what he had first thought was going to be an easy acquisition, he hires the Hit Man from Hell, BANE, to torment his pest while he looks into the pressing matters of his baleful business.
ANGEL MURPHY becomes one of those pressing matters. Another “soul of light” Stan has to reckon with; she’s interfering with his acquisition when she becomes romantically involved with Dante shortly after their chance encounter. (Bane had manifested a swarm of angry hornets to chase Dante; and he ended up running into Angel’s shop for refuge. She turns away the hornets by using a crystal—Apatite, to communicate with them.)
Stan does not take into account her tenacity and intuition. As he visits her at her shop, “Ethereal Offerings”, he’s browsing her wares; jewelry, clothing, crystals… When he approaches a display case full of chrysoprase, the rare “protection” crystal makes his footsteps falter. Angel dons a Celtic cross, sensing evil. He admonishes her to leave Dante or that her little venture will go up in smoke.
At first, Angel wants to pack up and go away—far away—but then she realizes that’s her M.O when there’s trouble. She packs up and leaves. She decides that it’s time she stops running. It’s Angel’s love for Dante and that Irish stubbornness that makes her stay. She knows that Stan means nothing but trouble; knows the risks of “Dancing with the Devil”. After Dante relates the whole sordid story to her, Angel resolves to help Dante save his soul, regardless of the risks.
She’s upset that all her crystals and incense can’t help.
That she doesn’t have the solution to his problem.
It’s just finding a way to render that I.O.U. null and void.
Dante seeks Pundit’s legal advice. Pundit informs him that a written contract can only be made null and void by an amendment; that not even a verbal agreement and a handshake can do it.
Dante’s stuck. He doesn’t want to sign anything else away to the Devil.
AUDREY ROSE isn’t a legal expert, but she is a spiritual one. Her advice is more along the lines of Holy Water and salt. She has to admit she is out of her league; that Dante’s “playing with the Big Boy” of negative entities. In her research of what she calls the “Classic Mephistopheles Method”, she finds that love can be used as a weapon; that love sends off such a high “resonant vibration” that it sets Stan’s teeth on edge.
That cements Dante and Angel’s relationship.
And Dante’s “team” has signed on yet another “free agent”.
Stan’s brought his “A” Game. He’s “bringing the heat”.
The question is, can Dante “bring it home” or be “struck out looking?”
SAMPLE STORY SUMMARY
“THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEDAN”– DANTE TYLER, after a cataclysmic day—losing his girlfriend, car and job– is introduced by his best friend to a club owner, one S.A. TAN. The next day, all his problems are miraculously resolved; his girlfriend’s back, he still has his job and his car has been repaired supposedly by Stan’s mechanic. He returns to the club, the Inferno, to repay Stan for his car’s repairs, only to be tricked into writing an I.O.U. on a cocktail napkin for his Immortal Soul…
“BURNING QUESTION”—Stan, with the aid of a few “moles”, spies on Dante at his job. Dante is rekindling the flame with his girlfriend EVE and still determined to repay Stan. Through a strange turn of events surrounding the “repairs” to his car, Dante ends up arrested for the theft of his own car and it’s Stan to the rescue to bail him out…
“IT’S THE DEVIL THAT YOU KNOW”—Dante’s best friend BRAD is revealed as a “double agent of Evil”. Dante’s started to put together all those coincidences and strange occurrences of the last week and realizes that no amount of money in his savings account is going to buy him out of the deal with Stan. Stan vows to “bedevil” Dante until he surrenders his soul. Could the appearance of a Reggie Jackson California Angels baseball card hold the key to saving Dante’s soul?
“THE DEVIL IN THE DETAILS”—Dante is being ‘bedeviled’ by Stan; everywhere he goes, there Stan is. Dante has no one to turn to–PUNDIT’S too busy working; even Eve thinks he’s imagining things. Brad asks Stan for more power so that he can “persuade” Dante to work for Evil. Stan warns him that more “infernal” power will take a toll on the flesh… That’s right. E.D. is the first “symptom”…
“DEVIL IN THE DESIGNER BLUE DRESS…”—In the midst of his fun tormenting Dante, Stan’s ex-wife LILITH shows up to pester him. Dante’s boss has noticed his distress and requests Dante take some time off. At home, Dante is climbing the walls. He wards off an infernal attack from Brad with every man’s weapon of choice—a Louisville Slugger, effectively beating the “hell” out of him.
“DARE DEVIL”—Disgusted with Brad’s “job” performance, Stan threatens to “fire” him unless he can get Dante to surrender his soul. Brad suggests that Stan take away all he bestowed… So, Dante again loses his girlfriend Eve, his car, his job and one better—his apartment—allegedly quarantined for the infestation of “Bolivian Bol Weevils”. With Dante down and out and on the run, Stan relishes the chase until it’s cut short by a priest named FATHER FLETCHER…
“STAN’S LITTLE HELPER”—BANE—as in “Bane to One’s Existence”. Stan commissions the hellish Hit Man to torment Dante as he attends to pressing matters in Hell (including the “firing” of Brad). Dante’s staying with Pundit and seeking employment. Quite by accident, Dante meets ANGEL MURPHY who unknowingly thwarts Bane’s initial “hit attempt”. Could Angel be Dante’s “match made in Heaven”?